Saturday, July 27, 2013

Keep Calm And Make New Friends

Our house in Temecula, California has been packed and is on a boat being shipped to Oahu. Within a week (praying) we will have all our goods back in our possession. 

I worried when we flew back to extend our quick "see ya laters" to some California friends that letting go would be heart-wrenching. Not only on me but especially Teilani. Jeyes is still young and just goes with the flow, never questioning how long the good byes will last. Personally, I loathe these moments. My ways of dealing with separation can be odd. I'd rather pretend that it isn't happening and then continue to stay in touch via mobile/text/ and social media outlets as if I'm still next door. I promised myself I wouldn't cry in front of the kids as we pulled away. Yes, it can be healthy to do so but I didn't want them to remember leaving as a sad event.

Although it has only been a week, Teilani says she misses California and her friends. I shrug it off instantly and tell her we are very lucky to be in Hawaii and she will have new friends soon. Changing the topic before she can elaborate on her emotions. When? she asks. I know in my heart that it will take time to build new relationships and that for me, is the hardest part. With all the travel back and fourth to the mainland this summer she has been very eager to start school again. As of now, I have her on a waiting list. Fingers crossed she makes it in by September/October. Establishing this old-new routine will be the most help for me, allowing more one on one time with Jeyes while providing her opportunities to grow in a social setting. Gaining confidence and independence without me lurking in the shadows are what I want so badly for my babes.   

... We were at the beach when Teilani reached out to a kid-stranger and asked if they wanted to be her best friend. My heart swell with pride as I eavesdropped into their conversation. Low and behold that kid looked her dead in the eye and said, no. Like, really? Why wouldn't you want to be her friend? OK, I'm a tiny bias I know. Talk about deflating from the inside-out. I could see her heart break as she ran to me tears rolling down her cheeks asking why? I paused for a moment deflating my own anger and softly explaining that not everyone wants to make new friends. That sucked. I wasn't prepared for this. As most issues in parenthood I am left planning my next comeback. Has this ever happened to you as a parent? What did you tell your kid? I could have strangled that little brat for denying my sweet girl friendship. I ask you, dear reader... please share with me your plan of attack on how to keep cool and what you say to your heart broken child when they taste the harshness in this world. 

Until next time...