20 Month Love Letter to Jeyes

Dear Jeyes Jaxon:

I write you this letter on a day when my heart feels heavy. Your sister starts preschool today and although this time will provide us with extra bonding, focus on your development, and exercise for Mommy, it means you are both growing up. Time is flying! Before I know it, I'll be writing your second birthday love letter. Hard to believe. Not sure I'm ready for that, yet. 

At this stage in life your imagination is wild! Just like your sister - I notice you venturing off into a car and truck wonderland. Wheeling them on the floor, up the couch and onto just about everything. I remember your sister starting to play like this when she was your age and it excites me to see it in you. Cars, trucks and trains are your favorite toy. My boy, you are teaching me so much these days... Like to SMILE and LAUGH. Nothing pulls me out of my own head like your hugs and kisses. Some may say we look like we're making-out. HA! Those are the best kind of kisses a Mommy could ask for. When again will you stop kissing on the lips? Please don't stop. They warm me and your Daddy's heart and soul. 

Here is some Photo Memory of Pregnant Mommy & Teilani (at nearly 20 months) loving each other in Las Vegas and preparing for you to bless our life. The last of the three pictures is of her playing with her dolls in the window at our doctor appointment. This is the imagination I am talking about. She and her dollies went to nearly all of our appointments. Keeping her very busy and well-behaved. We could not wait to meet you! 

To put it mildly, Mommy's body has had it. Two pregnancies back to back and three years of breastfeeding has taken it's toll on me. Doctor's orders are to focus not only on our Legacy we are creating daily, but on ME - your mother/dads wife/and taking good care of my body. I want to be all that I can for you, Teilani, Daddy and the rest of my extended family & friends. I want you to know that I am 100% dedicated to providing you and your sister with unconditional love and support. That will never change. 

Snoozing on Daddy with a park boo-boo on your nose

Speaking of being all that I can... I am not perfect. Shocker. We took you and Teilani to the park the other day and you fell. Hard. It was awful. Mom Fail at it's finest. All those times I boasted in being the attentive parent. Then it happened - My brave son, you climbed to the highest point of the playground - up a metal frame and to the center structure. I was so proud! I turned to Daddy in excitement and in that split second you jumped! Like you always do, and I didn't see until it was too late. Although this was inevitable, I couldn't stop wondering what went through your head after you hit the ground? Trust was broken and you were very sad. We all were. Daddy was the strongest of the bunch and kept telling you to "rub some dirt on it" "be tough" all things I heard while growing up, but, it still didn't make it hurt less. And I know that. Why I tend to "baby" you like some would say, is because I truly believe I know how you feel and never want to hurt or make you feel sad. Dad is right - You do need to "be tough"... this world can be deceiving and if you don't make a few mistakes and pay the price, you'll never know true failure and consequence. 

Teaching you to swing like a professional

All by yourself ~ so proud!

Very brave climber boy

I thank God everyday for choosing me to be your Mother. I pray he continues to strengthen and bless our family in good health & wellness today, tomorrow, and forever. 

I love you, my son. 

Love, Momma