Friday, June 7, 2013

For Teilani: June Love Letter


Dear Teilani:

Now it seems more than ever I am losing my patience with you on a daily basis. I am plagued with guilt  and hope you forget some of the awful faces I've made and harsh words I've said. Not cool. Not cool at all. Please forgive me? Maybe in the future you will have to deal with these same problems, if so, understand you are not alone. We are all up in each other's business all day, living our life in cramped quarters. I really wouldn't want it any other way. The time's Daddy relieves me of my mommy duties and I am sent away to regain more of myself, all I do is think about you and Jeyes. Wondering if you are ok and if you might need me. This morning I tried to curl up on the couch and close my eyes while you were playing with your dolls. I felt you pet my head and kiss my cheek, whispering "are you okay, momma?". I love how caring and warm your heart can be. And I love how much you love our Ohana. That is a gift from God and one I hope you never lose as you mature. Daddy and I have seen you throw some pretty wicked temper tantrums lately and I'll admit that you might have witnessed this same behavior from me when you and Jeyes aren't behaving to my liking. That totally sucks. I am not perfect. And I am sorry for being a poor role model. Everyday I wake up and think of how I can be better. One of the ways I dedicate myself to you is by writing you this letter in hopes that the future "you" will gain understanding of who I am - and that I am trying my very best to be better. Today, I am your Mother. Today, I love you. Tomorrow, I love you. Forever, I'll love you. You will always be my princess. 

Love, Mommy Tasia 

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